What the – how did Big Daddy Pornhater, Kari Byron fan extraordinaire, fail to mention that the sassy Mythbuster is now hosting a show on the Science Channel?
Kari’s new show, Head Rush, is aimed at kids, so I suspect she won’t be explaining the science behind the way her ginger pubic hair grows or how far a fellow’s seed might spurt depending on what particular outfit Kari is wearing. But any Kari Byron on TV is good Kari Byron on TV — in fact, those words are etched on the sign that hangs above the entrance to Pornhater Central Command.
We here at Pornhater Central Command like our porn trollops to actually seem as if they’re enjoying the various acts they’re committing, and Jennifer White definitely gets the big thumbs-up from us. She pretty much does it all on camera (even going so far as to get it on with The Hedgehog, aka Ron Jeremy), and there’s never the hint of that annoying another fuck, another buck attitude that so many porn stars have.
The ample charms of Jennifer’s body are quite apparent — those tits are astonishing, aren’t they? — but one of the best things about Jennifer is that terrific smile. She’s so pretty that when I first saw her in a porno flick, I actually thought she might just be wandering through and wasn’t gonna get naked or perform any acts of depravity.
Fortunately for us, Jennifer not only gets naked but sucks a mean cock as well. She also makes good use of that round, meaty ass, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Yes, that Gina Lynn. Since you’re reading Pornhater, I don’t think I have to tell you who Gina Lynn is — but I’m gonna do it anyway. Gina is flat-out one of the hottest porn sluts in the jizz-biz, with big tits, a huge, fleshy ass and amazing talents for fucking and sucking cock.
Well, thanks to Streamate, you can chat with Gina and see her do a cam show, all for free (at Streamate, you only pay for private shows). I just spent a little time chatting with her and checking out her awesome tits, and she did some serious dirty-talking, too. Gina really gets into fingering herself for her fans, so don’t waste a second, check out her sexy cam show.
All right, I know I just posted a video by saucy YouTube vixen boycrazy a couple days ago, but I’ve become obsessed with her. In this video, our spunky heroine attempts to trim her pubes and suffers a mishap. Meanwhile, we get to see her sportin’ a wife-beater, her perky nipples clearly visible through the fabric.
As you may have heard, Elin Nordegren and crazed slut-fucker Tiger Woods’ divorce was finalized this week. So now this hot piece of ass is on the loose with 100 million dollars and a sadness in her heart. Well, maybe not that “sadness” thing.
The best part is, thanks to Tiger Woods’ astonishing inability to keep his dick in his pants, you could promise Elin that you’d only fuck 10 or 12 other chicks and you’d seem like a step up. Thanks, Tiger!
As if I weren’t depressed enough, now I hear that pop divas Britney “C’mon, Admit You Wanted To Fuck Me At One Point” Spears and Lady “Unless You’re A Gay Man You’d Never Want To Fuck Me” Gaga are possibly going to join forces to hammer the final nail into the coffin of music.
Seriously, I have nothing to offer on this subject other than that I’m praying for a doomsday asteroid.
I couldn’t tell you why the hell Heidi Montag is famous other than that she had a shit-ton of plastic surgery done. I don’t know if she’s on a reality show like Snooki, J-Woww and the other fucktards on Jersey Shore or if she banged Tiger Woods or gave Nazi salutes to Jesse James. All I know for sure is that “Heidi Montag” and “Spencer Pratt” sound like minor characters from a Fu Manchu novel — “Good Lord, Sir Denis! Dr. Petrie tells me that young Spencer Pratt and his chambermaid Heidi Montag have fallen victim to the insidious Dr. Fu Manchu!”
And I also know, of course, that like all talentless shitheels today (that’s right, I’m looking at you, Montana Fishburne, Kim Kardashian, and Paris Hilton), Heidi and Spencer have a sex tape that’s about to be released upon the world courtesy of Vivid Entertainment.
Can we please have a different apocalypse? This one is too slow.
